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Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.

In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

A creamy, easy as hell salad dressing that comes together faster than your roommate can wash the lettuce.

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

Put down those mediocre mashed potatoes and pick up this superb side dish. Sure, a gratin is just a fancy sounding casserole but nobody will give a damn what the name is once they taste it.

Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal.

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

From award-winning author Michael W.