Hoppin John
Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal. Let’s put the superstitious shit aside for just a goddamn minute and appreciate the nutritional value of this savory son of a bitch. There’s enough protein and fiber in here to help you start the year off right. EAT BETTER. FEEL BETTER. FUCK LUCK.
Rinse the black-eyed peas and throw out any grit or fucked up looking peas. Put the peas in a medium container and cover them with a couple inches of water. Let them soak overnight or for at least 6 hours. After they have soaked, drain the peas and start fucking cooking.
Chop up the onion, bell peppers, and celery. In a large pot, warm up the olive oil over a medium heat. Add the onion and sauté that shit until it starts to brown in some places, about 6-9ths minutes. Add the bell peppers and celery and cook until they get a little soft, about 3 minutes. Take the chipotle peppers out of the can, cut them open and scrape out the seeds. These little bastards can be spicy, so taking out the seeds helps you keep that heat wherever the fuck you like it. If you prefer it hot then keep some of the seeds in.
Chop up the chipotles and dice up the garlic real fine. Add both to the pot and stir all that shit up. Add the thyme, oregano, paprika, black pepper, bay leaves, and salt and cook for 30 seconds. Toss in the drained black-eyed peas and the broth and bring that shit to a simmer.
Let it simmer uncovered until the peas are tender. This can take anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour depending on how long you soaked your peas and how old they are. If you start running out of broth before those are ready, add a little more broth or water. If the peas are tender and you’ve still got too much broth in there, just drain some of that shit off. Not a big fucking deal. Just check the seasoning when you are all done and add more herbs or spices if you think it needs it.
Serve this seasonal standard over your favorite kind of rice, topped with some green onions, and with a side out sautéed collards, spinach, kale, or COCONUT BRAISED COLLARD GREENS for extra luck or some superstitious shit like that. You can add a vinegar based hot sauce (like Crystal or Tabasco) on that shit and take it to another level.
*These smoked peppers come packed in sauce and are sold in a tiny can at most stores near the salsa and beans. Trust us, it’s there, just fucking look.
Coconut Milk Braised Collard Greens
get on these coconut milk braised collards from the one and only Angela Davis from The Kitchenista, Forked Up Pod guest from 2018.
Grilled Romaine Salad
Burgers are so bland that’s why you basically gotta dress that shit up with a salad after you grill it. CUT OUT THE MIDDLE MEAT AND JUST GRILL A SALAD.
Sparkling Grapefruit & Gin Punch
Don’t just ring in the New Year, start that motherfucker off with a BANG. This is a punch that lives up to the name, so you and your friends might be dropping before the ball does this year. So if you're gonna get fall down drunk, do it
Creamy Herb Salad Dressing
A creamy, easy as hell salad dressing that comes together faster than your roommate can wash the lettuce.
Naughty Sour
This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.