Naughty Sour
This holiday season don't just stay warm, PUT A ROARING FUCKING FIREPLACE IN YOUR GUT. BREATHE FIRE. SLAY THE HOLIDAYS. DRINK RESPONSIBLY BITCHES.
In a shaker or a big ass jar with a tight fitting lid combine the cider, bourbon, apple cider vinegar, maple syrup, and pepper. Shake that shit together with some ice until it looks all mixed up and there aren’t any big clump of sauce. Pour the mixture evenly between 2 glasses with some ice. Top each glass off with the club soda, again divided, and enjoy.
*Optional but loosen the fuck up and try it.
Pumpkin Ginger Blondies
Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.
Sweet Potato Chai Spiced Scones
You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?