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In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

Summer rolls are a solid travel food because they’re basically an herby noodle salad you can eat with your hands. No fork required. You can fold in whatever veggies you like but our go-to recipe is below.

If you’ve got some time to sneak into the kitchen this weekend, this pistachio custard we’re sharing is truly magic. Just remember that puddings need time to cool so you might wanna make this ASAP because the cravings will hit soon.

Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?

Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party.

Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?

These tangy sons of bitches add a crunch to any salad, sandwich, or try em in a taco. Plus the pink makes even the most basic dishes look elevated as hell. Easy, tasty, instagrammable. 

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

Some days you need a drink

Some days you need a pie

Today you get both.