Roasted Broccolini Herb Noodles
COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.
Warm the oven to 425 degrees. In a big ass bowl toss the broccolini, oil, soy sauce, and shallots together until everything’s all sauced up. Pour all that onto a baking sheet and roast in the oven for 15 minutes. Take it out, stir that shit around, squeeze the lime juice over the broccolini, and roast for another 5-10 minutes until everything gets crispy.
While the broccolini is roasting, boil the noodles and make the dressing. In a large glass, whisk together all the dressing ingredients and set that shit aside. When the noodles are done, drain ‘em and rinse under cold water until they’re cool. Hot noods not necessary here. Throw ‘em in a large bowl, pour half of the dressing, and toss in the fresh herbs and mix those motherfuckers up till everything is coated and lookin delicious. When the broccolini is done, let that cool for a couple minutes then toss half in with the rest of the dressing and mix it up again. Top with the rest of the broccolini and extra fresh herbs if you’re into that and serve right away. Any leftovers make the perfect lunch the next day.
Jackfruit Banh Mi
Yeah, yeah, yeah all you banh mi purists WE KNOW this is far from traditional BUT our version of this Vietnamese classic is so goddamn good that it might just ruin all future sandwiches for you. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED. ENJOY AT YOUR OWN RISK.