Spring Asparagus Risotto

Warm up the veggie broth in a large pot until it gently simmers then turn off the heat. Chop up the shallots, garlic, and asparagus. You’ll want the asparagus in pieces about an inch long, like bite-sized. Cut off the tough ends because those woody sons of bitches will ruin everything.

In a large skillet or pot with a wide bottom, heat up the 3 tablespoons of oil over a medium heat. Add the shallots and sauté them around until they start to look kinda golden, about 2-3 minutes. Add the garlic and rice and sauté until the rice smells toasted and starts looking like it absorbed some of the oil, about 2 more minutes. This helps make your risotto all creamy SO DON’T SKIP THIS SHIT. Add the white wine and salt to the pot and cook until most of the wine has evaporated and you scraped whatever bits of shallot got stuck to the bottom of the pot, like a minute or 2. Drink the rest wine because… well, that fucker is already open. Might as well.

Now add 3 cups of the warm broth, stir, and lower the heat so that the pot is at a slow simmer, uncovered. Stir every couple of minutes until most of the broth has absorbed into the rice, about 5-8 minutes. You don’t need to stand there and stir it the whole fucking time; whoever started that rumor about cooking risotto is a goddamn liar. Just stir it every minute or two while you clean up or troll the internet. Add another 3 cups of warm broth at this point, and do that whole stir and simmer thing again for another 7 minutes or until the rice tastes slightly undercooked and there’s still a little broth in the pot. Now dump in the asparagus and about 1 more cup of broth and cook until it’s tender and the rice looks like its sitting in a creamy gravy, about 5 more minutes. If it starts looking a little dry before everything is good to go, just add some more of the broth 1/4 cup at a time to fix that shit.

When the rice and asparagus taste done but not mushy, turn off the heat; add the lemon zest, remaining oil, half the chives, and a little pepper. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or whateverthefuck you want. Serve right away and top with the remaining chives.

* This kind of rice is starchy as hell, so it will make your risotto the extra creamy and delicious. If you can’t find it don’t worry about it, just grab a short grain rice.

** No wine? Just use more broth.