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In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

Summer rolls are a solid travel food because they’re basically an herby noodle salad you can eat with your hands. No fork required. You can fold in whatever veggies you like but our go-to recipe is below.

Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?

Every holiday season someone brings a dry ass veggie platter with ranch to an office party. Sad. But you'd never bring that to a party.

Today marks the beginning of the Lunar New Year, so what the hell are you cooking up?

These tangy sons of bitches add a crunch to any salad, sandwich, or try em in a taco. Plus the pink makes even the most basic dishes look elevated as hell. Easy, tasty, instagrammable. 

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

You need more onion rings in your life but nobody likes being assaulted by hot oil popping outta the skillet. Simple and healthier solution, bake those bitches.