Recipes

Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

Put down those mediocre mashed potatoes and pick up this superb side dish. Sure, a gratin is just a fancy sounding casserole but nobody will give a damn what the name is once they taste it.

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

This is a signature sauce that takes zero effort or skill and makes a fast snack whether you're hosting or because it's 4pm and you realized you haven't eaten anything all day what is wrong with you grab some bread make some sauce and get that fuc

Since you’re probably eating nachos for the big game, sideline the questionable cheese-like product and sub-in our butternut squash queso for a touchdown… or home run… or whatever the fuck sports pun you think is appropriate. Go sports!

This sweet son of a bitch is soggy by design but you gotta eat it within the first 48 hours to appreciate the greatness behind a milk soaked cake. 

This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.

Eggplant is abundant as fuck this time of year so you can buy them on the cheap. Not sure what the hell to do with an eggplant? Grab that Grimace-looking son of a bitch and roast the shit out of it so you can whip together this dope dip.

this drink’s got whole fruit and citrus so if anyone gives you shit for drinkin more than one or seven just tell ‘em you’re getting your fiber

Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

Don’t just ring in the New Year, start that motherfucker off with a BANG. This is a punch that lives up to the name, so you and your friends might be dropping before the ball does this year. So if you're gonna get fall down drunk, do it