Spicy Sausage and Cheese Kolaches

On low heat on the stove or in the microwave, warm up the 6 tablespoons of the butter until it's nice and melted and pour in the milk. We want the whole thing warm but not hot. Think like tea you left out and it’s almost at room temp now. If it’s too hot the yeast will die when you add it and you’ll have to start this shit all over so pay attention. Pour the milk and butter mixture into a glass, then stir in the sugar and the yeast. Let it sit for a few minutes or until the yeast starts looking foamy. Didn’t happen? The yeast was either too old or the milk was too hot so just admit defeat and start over.

While you’re testing the yeast, place the flour, cornstarch, and salt in a stand mixer or a big ass bowl and stir it up to combine. When the yeast has proved it’s alive and started to foam up, pour the liquid mixture into the bowl of dry ingredients. Mix this up until all the liquid is absorbed and you get a shaggy pile of dough.

Here comes the workout. Knead this dough, either by hand or with the dough hook in your stand mixer, for 5 - 10 minutes. After a few minutes a smooth, elastic dough should start to form without any lumps or dry spots. Place the dough in an oiled up bowl, cover and place it in a warm spot on your countertop until the dough has doubled in size. This should take maybe an hour but it’ll all depend on how warm your kitchen is.

Now let's make the fillings. First, follow the directions for our beer cheese sauce. When it's all done, stick it in the freezer. This will help when it comes to rolling up the kolaches. Next, let's make the tempeh.

Grab a large skillet or wok and warm up the oil over medium heat. Using your hands, crumble in the tempeh in pieces no bigger than a nickel. Smaller is better than big chunks, but there’s really no wrong way to do this shit. Add the onion and sauté them together until the tempeh starts to brown, about 5 minutes. Sprinkle in the soy sauce all over the pan, stir, then add the green chiles and tomato paste. Stir until all the tempeh looks covered them add the fennel seeds, oregano, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. Sauté for 30 seconds, then fold in the lemon juice and garlic. Remove from the heat because you’re done. Now go check on that dough. 

Once the dough has risen, punch it down to let all the air out. Divide the ball of dough into roughly 12 equal pieces. Grab a piece of the dough and flatten it out like your making a tortilla about the size of your palm. In the middle place a teaspoon of the cheese and a large tablespoon of the spicy filling. Wet the edge of the dough with a little water and start pinching and folding the dough together to cover up the filling. You should end up with a kinda tight little ball. Place that seam side down on a baking sheet covered in parchment and keep going until you’ve done them all. Cover these rolls with a dish towel and let them rise for 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes, warm up the oven to 375°F and boil a cup of water. Pour the hot water into a glass and stir in 2 tablespoons of baking soda. This shit is gonna fizzle up so be careful. Brush the tops of the kolaches with the baking soda mix, place a sliced jalapeno in the middle, and then bake for 15-20 minutes until the kolaches are golden brown. 

Serve warm or double the batch and fill up your freezer. Ya did all that hard work, might as well freeze some. They reheat great, even right from frozen.