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Don’t let summer slip by without sipping on this refreshing sonuvabitch. Plums, plucots, pluots, use whatthefuckever you can find. LEVEL UP YOUR LIBATIONS.

You know damn well you don’t eat enough fruit but you sure as shit hit that waffle quota every month. Why not sneak some fruit into your batter for a sweet winter treat that will make you feel less guilty for your waffle habit.

This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.

There is literally nothing better than a home warmed up by a busy oven turning out sweet seasonal treats so the first chance you get, bake this bread. It’s a small luxury in a world where that feels ever more chaotic.

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

While common in other parts of the world, most of North America keeps yogurt firmly in the sweet category. Let’s change that shit.

SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

Last minute holiday shopping? FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. Why don’t you stay home and celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bastards?

Don’t use Halloween as an excuse to count a big ass bag of mediocre candy as a snack. You know damn well that shit is just going to fuck with your stomach. Instead calm your cravings with this coconut caramel dip.

Don't wait for some rando to roll thru in musical van so that you can get an ice cream sandwich.