Hippie TLTA Sammie
Slice the tempeh into planks about ¼ inch thick and 2 inches long. No need to fucking measure it out, just trust your 3rd grade teacher did an ok job with you and fucking eyeball it.
Next, make the marinade. Stir everything together into a shallow dish like a pie pan or some shit. Add the tempeh planks gently to the dish so you don’t splash everywhere and then just give up. The tempeh won’t all be covered but just fucking make it work the best you can. Cover that up and stick it in the fridge to marinade for at least 2 hours and up to 8. Yeah, you have better read this shit all the way through before you started cooking hungry.
When the tempeh is ready, heat up the oil over a medium heat in a large skillet or wok. Lay the tempeh planks down in one layer and cook them until the tempeh starts to brown, about 2-3 minutes on each side. When it starts to look a little dry in there or the tempeh feels like it might be sticking just add a couple spoonfuls of the marinade to keep it all movin’.
Once the tempeh is browned on both sides then you are ready to make a badass sandwich. Pile lettuce, tomato, avocado, and red onions onto your favorite toasted bread with a little or a ton of basil mayo. It’s a fucking sandwich. If you got this far in the recipe but fail at the assembling a sandwich part then we honestly don’t know what the fuck to say to you.
* Blackstrap has more iron and isn’t as sweet as regular molasses. If you can’t find that shit, go with regular molasses.
Baked Onion Rings
You need more onion rings in your life but nobody likes being assaulted by hot oil popping outta the skillet. Simple and healthier solution, bake those bitches.
Fresh Herb Potato Salad
You can’t have a legit BBQ without a badass potato salad. But don’t be a dick and buy that nasty shit at the store. Make this instead; it is cheap as fuck and super easy.
Quick Pickled Red Onions
These tangy sons of bitches add a crunch to any salad, sandwich, or try em in a taco. Plus the pink makes even the most basic dishes look elevated as hell. Easy, tasty, instagrammable.
