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Sometimes we cook something as a clean-out-the-fridge-meal that is so accidentally amazing that we recreate it over and over again.

Meet pesto's cousin that spent a semester abroad, chimichurri. This is the kinda shit you wanna serve just so you can say "with a chimichurri sauce" and you sound fancy af. NOW GO IMPRESS SOMEONE USING THE POWER OF SAUCE.

Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?

We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.

You’re not still fucking with some mayo-soaked pasta salad, right? Because that shit always gets left in the sun for the wasps. Fuck all that. Whip up a bowl of these next level noodles and start spring with SOME GODDAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF. 

In case you haven’t been outside lately, summer is here with a goddamn vengeance. Which means it’s burger season. But don’t fire up that rusty ass grill, you’re probably outta propane anyways.

Eggplant is abundant as fuck this time of year so you can buy them on the cheap. Not sure what the hell to do with an eggplant? Grab that Grimace-looking son of a bitch and roast the shit out of it so you can whip together this dope dip.

Think all green dips must be guacamole?

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

ANYBODY WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT POPSICLES FOR BREAKFAST CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF BC THESE FROSTY BOYS HAVE NO ADDED SUGAR SO TECHNICALLY IT'S A SMOOTHIE CHECKMATE BITCH