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Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

We love summer pies but some days are truly too fucking hot to bake. Enter our Peach Pie Smoothie. It’s loaded with belly-filling fiber, protein, and all the bells and whistles of peach pie without the oven, or extra calories.

Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?

We don't need to sell y'all on gravy. This shit sells itself. Gravy is king of the holiday foods but great year-round on biscuits with some wilted greens. If you're lazy, just pour it on some toast.

What’s a party without a super bowl of bean dip? But don’t buy some sorry ass pop-top dip at the store, that shit looks like some damn cat food.

This recipe is from our homies Robby and Cyrus' new book Mastering Diabetes s

If you're like us, you crave falafel regularly but WHO IN THE FUCK has a deep fryer? This recipe's got all the flavor you fancy AND it's a great way to sneak more spinach into your diet.

Sure you could buy veggie sausage, shredded cheese, and only make the dough but if you've got some time its worth making this shit from scratch. Your wallet will thank you.

Ya like General Tso’s chicken? Or at least you’ve definitely had orange chicken. Well, that’s the kinda shit we’re aimin’ for here. Also, not a thing in China. That is some specifically American shit.

Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal.