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Last minute holiday shopping? FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. Why don’t you stay home and celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bastards?

Hoppin’ John is not only a staple recipe for good fortune every New Year but it’s also a pretty solid fucking meal.

Don’t use Halloween as an excuse to count a big ass bag of mediocre candy as a snack. You know damn well that shit is just going to fuck with your stomach. Instead calm your cravings with this coconut caramel dip.

Bread baskets have long gone out of style in restaurants, but we’ll be damned if we let anyone besmirch the good name of dinner rolls.

What’s a party without a super bowl of bean dip? But don’t buy some sorry ass pop-top dip at the store, that shit looks like some damn cat food.

We love summer pies but some days are truly too fucking hot to bake. Enter our Peach Pie Smoothie. It’s loaded with belly-filling fiber, protein, and all the bells and whistles of peach pie without the oven, or extra calories.

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

Plum jam is the perfect place to throw any bruised or overly ripe fruit that you bought and *might* otherwise let go to waste. Once this shit starts cooking, who the fuck can tell the difference? No one, that’s who.

Peach jam and pie can often get a bad rap because people love to pair super sweet peaches with tons of sugar and the result is cloying and hard to stomach. We can’t stand most store-bought peach stuff for that exact reason.