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Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

GRAPEFRUIT HOT TODDY AKA HUG IN A MUG AKA DOCTORS ORDERS AKA COLD CRUSHER

Punch your way into the New Year with this glass of class. MAKE 2019 FEAR YOU ESTABLISH DOMINANCE EARLY.

Happy New Year's Bitches 

When you’re feelin’ sick, you might immediately reach for tomato soup. That’s fine, but basic, so maybe consider this shit: parsnips. They’ve got a bunch of fiber and vitamins, plus this soup is what we can only describe as velvety as fuck.

Bread baskets have long gone out of style in restaurants, but we’ll be damned if we let anyone besmirch the good name of dinner rolls.

So you bought a pomegranate because it's in season but you dunno what the fuck do with it? SALAD SAUCE. Everybody needs to be eating more salad, make that shit extra fancy with this simple pomegranate vinaigrette. 

Don't settle for a boring breakfast. You deserve a better start to your day and this tea steeped toast is gonna get you noshing like nobility.