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NO SHIT IT'S HOT, IT'S FUCKING SUMMER. Pull yourself together, go find some shade, and kick back with spiked citrus iced tea.

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo?  This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40?

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

Don’t just ring in the New Year, start that motherfucker off with a BANG. This is a punch that lives up to the name, so you and your friends might be dropping before the ball does this year. So if you're gonna get fall down drunk, do it

Frozen bananas make you feel like you’re at the boardwalk even if you’re just standing in front of an oscillating fan in your apartment. USE YOUR IMAGINATION BITCH. Make some of these with the kids, they love that shit. 

Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

If your potlucks are just dips and casseroles, it's time to upgrade. Whip up a batch of these next level noodle nests and shame the shit out of your friends' dishes. ANYONE BRINGING BEAN DIP YOU'RE GETTIN DISH DUTY FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT.

What’s a party without a super bowl of bean dip? But don’t buy some sorry ass pop-top dip at the store, that shit looks like some damn cat food.