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You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

from Bad Manners: Eat Like You Give a Fuck

Whether you’re spending Valentine’s Day with your significant other or your own sexy self, you’ve gotta fucking eat. But skip the expensive-ass restaurant and predictable chocolate covered whatever.

Everything is exhausting right now but chin up bitches bc COOKIES. These citrus poppy seed cookies are a refreshing summer snack for beating the heat or trying to ignore the headlines.

Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

Summertime is the best time for fruit but don’t limit that shit to only dessert. Grill up whateverthefuck looks good and throw it in a salad or on some grains.

If you’ve got some time to sneak into the kitchen this weekend, this pistachio custard we’re sharing is truly magic. Just remember that puddings need time to cool so you might wanna make this ASAP because the cravings will hit soon.

For the rest of us who enjoy stuffing that WASN’T cooked in a bird’s ass, carb load up with our Sourdough Herb Stuffing. You’ll need your energy to flip the table when Nana starts in on the election.

Ya like General Tso’s chicken? Or at least you’ve definitely had orange chicken. Well, that’s the kinda shit we’re aimin’ for here. Also, not a thing in China. That is some specifically American shit.