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COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

If you’ve never made dumplings before, they can seem intimidating, but we promise you got this shit.

Some days you need a drink

Some days you need a pie

Today you get both.

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

We’re so tired of seeing rolled potato tacos that taste bland as fuck. It's lazy. Just put some ketchup on that and call it a french fry.

It’s honestly offensive how good, and dead-simple this recipe is. It’s a simmer and serve. Nothing easier than that. But damnnnn, the results are bigger than the sum of its parts.

We don't need to sell y'all on gravy. This shit sells itself. Gravy is king of the holiday foods but great year-round on biscuits with some wilted greens. If you're lazy, just pour it on some toast.

Bet y’all didn’t know this culinary classic is actually the result of public schools trying to keep costs low while meeting the min nutritional mandates set by the federal govt after WWII.

Don’t spend your Memorial Day weekend letting your creepy uncle serve limp hot dogs and hockey puck hamburgers.