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Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

Sure you could buy veggie sausage, shredded cheese, and only make the dough but if you've got some time its worth making this shit from scratch. Your wallet will thank you.