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THIS IS A PEANUT BUTTER CUP IN THE SIZE YOU ALWAYS WANTED BUT WERE TOO ASHAMED TO ASK FOR DON'T WORRY YOU'RE NOT ALONE THERE ARE MILLIONS OF US OUT THERE PEANUT BUTTER CUP JUNKIES RISE UP 

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

Last minute holiday shopping? FUCK ALL THAT NOISE. Why don’t you stay home and celebrate in style with some of these spicy sweet bastards?

This sweet son of a bitch is soggy by design but you gotta eat it within the first 48 hours to appreciate the greatness behind a milk soaked cake. 

This coulis has a shitload of vitamin C to upgrade any breakfast SO START YOUR DAY WITH SOME C SAUCE.

Plum jam is the perfect place to throw any bruised or overly ripe fruit that you bought and *might* otherwise let go to waste. Once this shit starts cooking, who the fuck can tell the difference? No one, that’s who.

Bread baskets have long gone out of style in restaurants, but we’ll be damned if we let anyone besmirch the good name of dinner rolls.