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This coulis has a shitload of vitamin C to upgrade any breakfast SO START YOUR DAY WITH SOME C SAUCE.

We know you need caffeine sometimes but don’t even fucking think about reaching for a RedBull or 5-Hour Energy. We’ll slap that shit out of your hand so quick you won’t know whatthefuck happened.

Sure you could buy veggie sausage, shredded cheese, and only make the dough but if you've got some time its worth making this shit from scratch. Your wallet will thank you.

It’s honestly offensive how good, and dead-simple this recipe is. It’s a simmer and serve. Nothing easier than that. But damnnnn, the results are bigger than the sum of its parts.

This sweet son of a bitch is soggy by design but you gotta eat it within the first 48 hours to appreciate the greatness behind a milk soaked cake. 

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?

This smoothie, from the lovely ladies at Simple Green Smoothies, tastes like a creamsicle but without all motherfucking food dye and cor