Recipes

Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?

SOUP IS JUST A BELLY SWEATER.

COLON CANCER AIN'T FUCKING AROUND. You gotta eat more broccoli bc it's like a toothbrush for your asshole. It's way more effective and a HELLUVALOT CHEAPER than a juice cleanse.

If your potlucks are just dips and casseroles, it's time to upgrade. Whip up a batch of these next level noodle nests and shame the shit out of your friends' dishes. ANYONE BRINGING BEAN DIP YOU'RE GETTIN DISH DUTY FUCK OUTTA HERE WITH THAT.

Don't let the recipe intimidate you, sure there's a few steps to this dish but if it's just like assembling lasagna SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND GET WITH THIS CAIRO COMFORT FOOD

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

Why do coworkers always ask what you ate for lunch? LEVEL UP YOUR SMALL TALK PATRICK OR GO BACK TO YOUR CORNER IN HR. Anyways, here’s a recipe for a soba noodle salad that's so dope that it’s a worthy steal from the shared fridge.

SWEET TAP DANCING MOSES WHY IS IT SO HOT IN MAY? EARTH, YOU OKAY BUDDY? Keep your core temp down this unusually warm-as-balls spring with a bowl of our cold sesame noodles.

Chef Jet Tila shares his fav late night drinking dish from his cookbook 

Alfredo should NEVER be bought. This is prob the easiest, simplest, and classiest sauce to make at home. It's usually got a shitload of fat tho, which is just unnecessary especially if you're pourin it over carbs.

Summer is winding down but there’s still some sweet produce left out there. Go grab some goddamn nectarines and make this pasta while you still can, before all-pumpkin-everything season starts.