Roasted Tomato Soup

Warm up your oven to 350 degrees and grab a rimmed baking sheet or big ass roasting pan. 

Pour 1 of the teaspoons of oil on the baking sheet and smear it around evenly to make sure nothing is going to fucking stick. Drain the tomatoes but save the juice in a separate glass, we’ll use that shit in a little bit. Slice the tomatoes in half lengthwise and place them cut side up on the baking sheet. Try to keep about 1/3 of the sheet empty for future veggies. Roll the cloves of garlic in the oil on the pan, and place them near the tomatoes. We wanna leave the skin on the garlic so those lil fuckers roast and get all sweet. Add a pinch of salt over the tomatoes and roast all shit that in the oven for 30 minutes. If you can’t remember to check the clock, set a timer. If you can’t do either THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU IN THE KITCHEN HANDLING SHARP OBJECTS?

While the tomatoes roast, skin the potato and chop it, the cauliflower, and onion up all into dime-sized pieces. You wanna end up with about 1 cup of chopped potato, 1 1/4 cup chopped cauliflower, and 1 cup chopped onion. Toss them all together in a bowl with the remaining oil, rosemary, thyme, and a small pinch of salt and pepper.

After the tomatoes have roasted for 30 minutes, add the seasoned vegetable mixture to the pan, spread it out as much as possible, and roast all that shit for another 30-40 minutes. You just wanna make sure the potato and cauliflower are tender and a little golden in some spots. Take the pan outta the oven and let it cool for  couple minutes. Pinch the garlic to squeeze it out of the skin; it should pop right out and smell dope. Add the rest of the shit from the baking sheet and roasted garlic into a blender and pour in the broth. Run it on high until the soup looks smooth. Pour all that into a pot on the stove, warm it over a low heat, and add the remaining tomato juice you saved from the can (it should be around 1 cup). If you want a thinner soup, add the extra half cup of broth but we like it thick. Taste and add more salt, pepper, or herbs to get it right for you. Serve hot with some bread so you can mop your bowl clean when your spoon becomes fucking useless.