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PUT.THE.FUCKING.CAN.OPENER.DOWN. Trust us on this shit. Just look at the sugar content in that canned cranberry crap THEN check the serving size. GODDAMN RIGHT?!

Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.

some of y'all asked why we don't have a guac recipe on our site. WELL DAMN it seemed so basic we didn't realize that y'all need your fucking hands held BUT WHATEVER HERE ARE THE BUILDING BLOCKS TO MAKING THE PERFECT GUAC.

You need more onion rings in your life but nobody likes being assaulted by hot oil popping outta the skillet. Simple and healthier solution, bake those bitches.

Doesn't matter how much money you got in the bank or what you've got parked in the garage BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HOMEMADE FUDGE CHILLIN IN YOUR FRIDGE YOU'RE

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?

It’s honestly offensive how good, and dead-simple this recipe is. It’s a simmer and serve. Nothing easier than that. But damnnnn, the results are bigger than the sum of its parts.

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo?  This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40?

ENCHILADAS ARE JUST TACO CASSEROLE

Starting to feel like ninety one thousand damn degrees outside? We got you. Chill the fuck out with a big ass cup of this tropical treat. All you need are five fucking ingredients and a blender.