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Have you ever seen the living nightmare mascot for Hamburger Helper? That shit is terrifying. But ya know what's worse than that?

Once a year people do this weird thing and get all fucking jazzed about eating a big ass bird that looks like a poor-man’s peacock. If turkey really tasted that good then everyone would be cooking those fuckers year round.

A creamy, easy as hell salad dressing that comes together faster than your roommate can wash the lettuce.