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This recipe is a slushie we imagine drinking on some far-off beach with our abs glistening in the sun. Might as well have abs if we’re using our imaginations, right?

Y’all ever fuck around and wrap some food with twine? Can’t explain why but somehow it just makes food taste better. Someone fund the science behind this please.

When you’re feelin’ sick, you might immediately reach for tomato soup. That’s fine, but basic, so maybe consider this shit: parsnips. They’ve got a bunch of fiber and vitamins, plus this soup is what we can only describe as velvety as fuck.

This winter why not treat yourself to something like a big mug of this holiday hottie? Or if you’re the generous type, throw a big bath of this mix in a jar, slap a fucking bow on it, and now you’ve got a cheap and tasty gift.

Some days you need a drink

Some days you need a pie

Today you get both.

It’s honestly offensive how good, and dead-simple this recipe is. It’s a simmer and serve. Nothing easier than that. But damnnnn, the results are bigger than the sum of its parts.

This stew is thick as fuck and tasty as hell. If you have never had a version of this Southern staple then GET THE FUCK ON IT.

Don't let the recipe intimidate you, sure there's a few steps to this dish but if it's just like assembling lasagna SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN AND GET WITH THIS CAIRO COMFORT FOOD

Bread isn’t all that hard to make, it just involves some patience. If you struggle with patience then maybe baking isn’t your thing.

Anyone who wakes up early on a weekend to go wait in a brunch line for an hour only to order pancakes is weak. Instead of spending stacks, stay home and make your own.