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We’re so tired of seeing rolled potato tacos that taste bland as fuck. It's lazy. Just put some ketchup on that and call it a french fry.

Getting ready for Cinco de fucking Mayo?  This year you might make a couple shitty judgment calls but don’t start with your margarita mix. You see how many goddamn ingredients are in those fuckers? Red 40?

You won’t be stressing this summer if you’re sipping on this tasty glass of general badassery. The antioxidant loaded in theses blackberries will make sure free radicals aren’t fucking up your day.

You can still eat like a kid because NOSTALGIA ISN'T JUST FOR SHITTY MUSIC

Got some less-than-fresh veggies taking up valuable real estate in your fridge? Don’t toss them in the trash, roast those bitches. Just because something’s old doesn’t mean it’s worthless so CALL YOUR GRANDPARENTS.

Ya know how you lied and said you’d actually bring something to the party this time? FUCKING DO IT. Did someone else bring a pasta salad?

Bet y’all didn’t know this culinary classic is actually the result of public schools trying to keep costs low while meeting the min nutritional mandates set by the federal govt after WWII.