Recipes

ANYBODY WHO SAYS YOU CAN'T EAT POPSICLES FOR BREAKFAST CAN FUCK ALL THE WAY OFF BC THESE FROSTY BOYS HAVE NO ADDED SUGAR SO TECHNICALLY IT'S A SMOOTHIE CHECKMATE BITCH

These protein packed bites are the snack equivalent of putting on gym clothes but never actually going.

There’s rum cake and that’s pretty dope, right? So why not wine cake? Some people might see a cake and ask why, we see a cake and ask wine.

Doesn't matter how much money you got in the bank or what you've got parked in the garage BUT IF YOU DON'T HAVE HOMEMADE FUDGE CHILLIN IN YOUR FRIDGE YOU'RE

This coulis has a shitload of vitamin C to upgrade any breakfast SO START YOUR DAY WITH SOME C SAUCE.

You mean to tell me there’s some motherfucker that builds toys in his house on a sheet of ice all year then delivers them in one night and you’re just gonna fucking offer him store-bought cookies?

You might be thinking rosemary and caramel corn might seem odd as hell together but that shit works. Unlikely combinations have given us such amazing things like Alien vs Predator. Or Freddy vs Jason. Or Batman and Scooby Doo.

From October to New Years this sweet and savory sauce gets drizzled on JUST.ABOUT.EVERY.GODDAMN.THING but especially fruit.

How the fuck is Nature’s Valley still putting crumbs in bags and selling them as breakfast bars? Shit is disrespectful and a dry sponge would taste better than those crumb catastrophes. NOT OUR BARS.

Don’t waste another Fall by settling for some lesser seasonal treat. That overhyped bullshit distracts from the real fucking reason for the season: DESSERT. Bake these bitches up and you’ll realize pumpkin is better chewed, not sipped.

This sweet son of a bitch is soggy by design but you gotta eat it within the first 48 hours to appreciate the greatness behind a milk soaked cake. 

This summer weather isn’t waiting on the ice cream truck to start making the rounds. But before you start pulling out your cash and that dusty ass fan from last year, whip up a batch of these sweet sons of bitches to help you keep your cool.